This is the face of lung cancer

This is the face of lung cancer
This is my mother
This is my children’s grandmother
She used to laugh and smile
She used to be the life of the party

Now she lays in bed
She sleeps with her mouth open
She sleeps with her eyes open
She doesn’t smile
Sometimes she doesn’t even see me when I am talking to her

I have run out of things to say to her
Nothing I say matters
The sad truth is we are waiting for this disease to take her
This is not living and it is certainly no way to die

She didn’t want to tell people it was lung cancer
She didn’t want to believe it
She didn’t want to admit it
She didn’t want it
She felt guilt

My children’s life will be less than it should be
My life will be less
A mother’s love can not be replaced

If I were a princess

If I were a princess ...

my name would be Emmalise...

and I would have blond hair and blue eyes...

I would wear a pink dress with sparkles...

and I would eat candy all day long!

Lazy Days

Today I am thankful for a job that allows me to work from home when the kids are off school, so my kiddies can veg in front of the tv as all children should on no school days.

Sign the petition

If you would like to sign the petition to increase research finding for lung cancer, follow this link.

http://www.lungcanceralliance.org/involved/sign_the_petition.html

Observations from an airport

Security—didn’t someone famous say there is no sure thing as security? The TSA agent overseeing the security check point was checking out golf resorts on his computer.

Other moms traveling alone with small children are calmer than I, and willing to walk much farther away from their purse than I would.

I used to like the Ft Lauderdale airport—now I think it’s a dump.

Really cool promo—buy a book and return it after reading for a 50% refund within 6 months

Food—Why do we eat in the airport?

Food—it’s true over 50% of the population is overweight.

Food—Sunchips, Reeces Pieces, and a Diet Coke is a perfectly acceptable meal.

Hair—there are an alarming high number of people with dread locks traveling today—and you all know how I feel about those.

Food—those doughnuts over there are looking really good.

Flights—are never delayed when you are running late, only when you are early.

Duty free shops—are never open

I Love my Husband

I'm sure it seems strange, taking time out during this very crazy evening to blog, but sometimes it just has to be done. Plus, it takes the mind off of the painful. I'll probably read this back and think....I better delete this.

Anyway, I'm frantically throwing clothes into my suitcase. I don't know why I am hurrying, I'm not leaving for the airport until 4am tomorrow. I guess it just keeps your mind on something else. My Mom isn't well. I need help, she tells me on the phone. Can you call 911, I ask? No, she says there is no 911 for me. There isn't anything to be done, I just need you. I'm not going to make it.

You need to put the invitations in the mail, I say to Mike, and you need an address for this one. The uniforms need to be washed, don't forget about swimming lessons, and you will have to take the library books back to the library.

Why, he says, will the library police come and get me if I don't?

Really, what's not to love?

No, a$$hole, you will have to pay a fine. (excuse my language, just keepin' it real)

Really, he says, I didn't know that.

So, I ask incredulously, I suppose you always returned your library books on time?

No, he says, I've never taken a book out of the library.

When I put that into the blog you are going to look like an...oh, I already used one bad word in this post.

Yes, I do love him. And, yes, he is exactly what I need.

It's punishment!

A Great Idea

What will you do on Jan 19th? The Obamas are calling for National Day of Service. I love it! We are going to do a family service project. It's hard to think up things which are appropriate for little children, so I am taking ideas.

So far we have come up with:

1. A trip to the grocery store and then the food pantry.
2. Buying flowers to deliver to a local nursing home.
3. ???

Any thoughts?

Watching Over the Angles

the munchkins and their leader

What passes for fun at your house on saturday?

Is it this?

I didn't think so.

It doesn't really pass for fun at my house either (except to Noah), but that is what we did. Let's just get started on the basement and with a little work, the kids will have a play area, I said. I don't let them paint or play with playdough much upstairs--but downstaires...kid heaven!

Guess what happens to drywall tape if you don't follow the directions? In my defense, there were no directions included. Did you know you had to mud before you put the tape on?

Guess what passes for fun at my house on Sunday?

It's Snowing

It’s January 9th, and it’s snowing. 40 January’s in Chicago I’ve looked out at the snow through my window and thought…..it’s peaceful. It’s peaceful, calming, and beautiful. It settles the soul. At least it does mine. That’s what I have told people who ask, why do you put up with this weather. It’s peaceful and I like the change of seasons.

This year, I don’t know. It’s cold…and slushy…and cold. Can’t count the mittens lost this year. I just somehow don’t feel up to the long winter. Don’t feel strong enough. And this will be a long one. It started early.

Yet, still, when I look out the window, I stop, take a deep breath and relax a bit.

What power a mere snowflake to stop something a thousand times it’s size. What else can you do? What else can you stop?