The Mormons

So, The Mormons. What do I really know about the Mormons other than the stereotypical walking around in the sweltering heat of summer in suits and pantyhose to be turned away at every door? What would happen if someone actually opened the door an invited them in? I did, ya know, well I didn’t actually let them in my actually house…

I was home on maternity leave. Emme was sleeping. I saw them coming, and I thought does anyone ever talk to them? What will they say? The door bell rings, I answer, but I can’t get the screen door open. I’m pulling and pulling, but it won’t open. Is it a sign? What will happen if I talk to them? Will their Mormonism get on me? Just a minute, I can’t get the door open, I say. I go out through the garage and ask them if they would like a bottle of water. They say yes, thank you. I hand them the water and sit down on the front bench. What’s up, I ask? They looked at me as if I had 3 heads.

To be fair, I was on maternity leave, perhaps I hadn’t showered in a while..or brushed my hair…or my teeth. OK OK, the hormones were in flux, maybe I did have 3 heads.

Finally, the boy asks, do you belong to a church?

Yes, I do, I respond.

They look at each other.

The girl says quietly, give her pamphlet on family.

Have a nice day they mutter are walk briskly away.

Hey, I yell, following them down the drive way, I thought we could talk a bit…